The Star Wars effect

Imperial suite(s)

"Otherwise Perfect"

The humans kept very much to themselves after that first encounter with Queen Geranium, having decided that the aliens were not friendly. They pitched a large camp near the forest beside which they had landed. Only a few distinguished persons were allowed out to do research on the local flora and fauna. All the children were warned against the “Unfriendly Aliens” and told never to speak to them or something bad would happen. There weren’t many children since the instigators of this recolonisation had only sent young working age people, thus, tearing families apart in the name of progress. (In other words: No one was there because they wanted to be there.) Few of these people had children and of the children there, none were over the age of three. One day a fairy, named Xenia, was passing by and decided to investigate this camp. She managed to get quite far without being stopped and had actually been able to have a good conversation with a nice couple who lived in tent 137 when the head scientist and some of his colleagues noticed her and told her to get out. On inquiring the reason for this she was informed that she was too short. She asked hotly what was wrong with being short and was told that short people were unfortunate mutations in the otherwise perfect process of evolution. She said she would inform the Queen about this insult to their race and stormed out. The Queen was told immediately and was furious but decided not to show it to the humans. Instead she left them severely alone. Anyone who wanted was allowed in the camp By Order Of The Queen So There but no one did.

The Resettlement

In the days before the humans came, life on Outer Earth was peaceful enough. Now and then there would be a disagreement with the Immortals and they'd have a friendly battle in which nobody got hurt and nobody lost.

but one day the chief astronomer said to the queen of the fairies, Queen Geranium: “Excuse me your majesty,”

The Queen, who had very dark hair and skin, and was having a small picnic with some friends, looked up from her cup of fermented blue vine flower juice and rejoined: “Yes, what is it?”

The astronomer looked nervously at the wall, he found the Queen very intimidating and she knew it.

“The- there- um...” he wasn't quite sure how to put this. “Uh, Inner Earth has been sending out ships.”

“They've been sending out ships for years and you didn't have to report it every single time. What's so important about these ships?”

“Er... they uh, they appear to be heading in the direction of our solar system.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. They sent out several signals. It sounds like they're looking for a place to move into and they want to talk to little green men so I'm not sure if it's our planet in particular they're after.”

“Oh.” said the Queen. “Never mind that just now.” she turned to her friends. “Ladies, do not be alarmed.” Turning to the astronomer, she said “You may go.”

he bowed and withdrew.

The next month the fairies were having a friendly battle with the Immortals when there was the sound of a small explosion from behind the the other side of the hill, followed by several more. Queen Geranium and the king of the Immortals, King Ivor, rode over on their buncles, (a large winged animal which lives on Outer Earth),

and saw a cloud of smoke which cleared quickly to reveal a number of large space shuttles on the edge of the forest. Geranium was not impressed.

“Ivor,”

“Yes, Geranium?”

“Could you possibly release my cushion? I may need it.”

He handed it back to her and they waited for the space shuttles to do something. One of them opened and a lot of mist and strange figures in space suits with guns emerged.

“How dare they!” muttered Geranium through clenched teeth.

“I think I kind of like their manner of arrival,” Said Ivor. “it’s what I would have done in their place.”

Geranium looked at him in utter disbelief. how could he say that? There were people down there invading their perfect planet, and he was calmly saying that he approved!

At last she said, rather nastily. “Well I suppose that comes of being from a different planet.”

“Are you trying to say that I’m inferior?” he replied, somewhat annoyed.

“Not just you,” She retorted, disdainfully, and ended with a shout. “Your entire race! I don’t know why I ever trusted you enough to fight against you! You always cheat!” (He never cheated, but Geranium was feeling extremely disagreeable just then)

“So now I cheat? Well I hope you won’t be bothered by cheats like me from now on. I’m not having anything else to do with you or your people and neither will my untrustworthy race!” he hit her hard with his pillow and said, “Take that, with the cheat’s compliments! I hope it hurts a lot!”

Geranium wasn’t going to let him get away with that and so whacked him with her cushion, leapt onto his buncle and pushed onto the ground where she proceeded to punch him as hard as she could while he pulled her hair, all the time hurling insults at each other. Their crowns fell off and their clothes became so dirty that they were no longer recognisable as monarchs. a loud cough from behind made them stop to see who dared to interrupt their royal fight. they looked up to see three people in space suits standing staring at them.

“What do you want?” Said Geranium.

“We are humans from Planet Earth,” Said one. “Which has become over crowded so we came here to settle and start-”

“Why are you wearing space suits?” Asked Ivor, sitting up.

“Because,” Said the first one. “we are unsure whether your atmosphere is fit to breathe.”

“Our atmosphere unfit to breathe?!” Geranium was outraged. these people, humans, had come without permission to settle on their planet and now they were saying there was something wrong with the air!

“How dare you!” She shouted, jumping up. “Our air is perfectly fine and no one is allowed to say otherwise!”

“Well we need to make sure that the oxygen levels-”

“The oxygen level is fine! If it wasn’t then how could you hear me?!” She couldn’t believe how stupid these people were.

“Well you have a point there. I think we should return to our shuttle, though.” They moved off. Geranium now turned to see what was keeping Ivor so quiet all this time and saw that he was way off on the plain, withdrawing his troops. they never spoke to one another again. this was the beginning of the long and bitter enmity between Immortals and Fairies and how the humans came to Outer Earth.