The Story Blog: December 2016

This story was dictated by Hannah and me and written down by Bryony exactly as we said it. The bits in italics have nothing to do with the story. ''if you don't tell me, I will throw a paddy'' and other comments of like nature were said by Hannah because she didn't know what we were doing. This story was not written to make sense.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... on a planet named Jakku there lived lots of people, but not many compared to the size of the planet, um is this before or after? On this planet there lived a girl named Rey.

One day she was walking and saw a black line of smoke on the horizon,

she walked towards it,

no, she sped towards it on her speeder.

She saw the remains of a TIE fighter. There was a leather jacket close to it, she had always wanted a leather jacket so she picked it up and made sure there were no holes in it.

There weren't; it was a new leather jacket, even better. She tried it on, she decided it would need a wash.

She saw someone coming, 2 people, from different places.

she put the leather jacket in her net and hid, underneath the speeder.

The first person reached the wrecked TIE fighter. he had white armour on.

he looked inside the wrecked TIE fighter and finding nothing he went away looking very sad and shedding his armour as he went (he did not notice the speeder or the other person)

when he was over the crest of the hill um the other person reached the wrecked TIE fighter, and started to look inside it

BUT, probably as a result of having better eyesight he saw footprints in the sand: and took a magnifying glass out of his pocket and carefully examined the ground,

he started walking, still looking at the ground, and bumped into the speeder.

He saw Rey! Their eyes met, they looked at each other for a few seconds.

Rey thought to herself ''He has very funny eyes, I wonder if this is the sort of moment they talk about in books?! I wonder if he's going to propose?!!!''

He said: dramatic pause ''Have you seen my jacket?''

''No.'' said Rey ''By the way, do you mean the kind of jacket that is red a brown and has no holes in it whatsoever and needs a wash?''

'' Yes that's it.'' he said then he stood up, and saw the jacket, and said, ''This is mine.''

At this point the person in white had gotten rather lost and banged into the speeder, because he was not looking where he was going.

The 2 persons' eyes met

''Poe!'' said the person in white.

''Finn!'' said the Jacket person.

''Vandals!'' said Rey.

The 2 people ignored her and had a joyful reunion, then the person in white said

''Let's go.'' and they jumped on Rey's speeder and rode away,

''if you don't tell me, I will throw a paddy''

Rey yelled. ''Thieves!!'' after them um along with a whole lot of other words we shall not mention at this point,

she ran after them ''Who?'' yelling these unmentionable words, and almost fell over a little round thing which turned out to be a droid '' I have a suspicion I know who this is, this is Rey!'' and as she still had the jacket and had lost sight of the speeder by now, she made the droid sniff it and it started racing ahead. 'Oh sniff, I thought you said ship'' It came to the edge of a cliff and jumped after with a

''wheeeeee'' noise and Rey was now confirmed in her belief that all droid were stupid. But as the cliff was only 1m high she soon decided that her belief was unconfirmed, and she continued following the droid. Exciting music came from the clouds which weren't actually there so it came from the sky it was called ''the March of the Resistance'' then it changed to ''the Overture to William Tell''! Then it changed again to variations on a theme of Paginini'' um they came to a village and ran right through it because the speeder wasn't there. They were now closely followed by several (un-aerodynamic) TIE fighters (so now it went TIE fighters, droid, Rey, speeder,

and a group of storm troopers who had been dropped on the ground). Soon the people on the speeder realised what was happening and went even faster,

they were bound to run out of fuel eventually thought Rey and so kept running. They ran out of fuel,

Rey ran up to the speeder closely followed by the droid and the group of storm troopers, the TIE fighters for some reason were away in the distance, (they had had a malfunction in anti-gravity control and were now slightly stranded)

the people on the speeder looked around and saw the droid, and the droid saw them, and the droid and Rey raced towards the speeder and the people on the speeder raced towards the droid.

As a result of which they all crashed into each other. The droid and the jacket person were about to have a joyful reunion when they noticed the amount of people running behind them, the person grabbed the jacket and ran, with Finn and Rey following because Rey didn't want to let go of the jacket. The music from the sky now changed back to William Tell. They ran through another village, they saw something. It looked like it could fly, they ran inside it and took off.

The storm troopers were not pleased.

They flew to a very green planet, with lots of lakes on it.

But then after they had landed and started to explore, before um before this they had looked at a map which was inside the droid which was called BB8 (the droid not the map).

The music had stopped. There came the sound of TIE fighters! One of which was not a TIE fighter!

It landed! And made everyone freeze, no wait, there came out of it a person who made everyone freeze,

and made them all go floppy and unconscious.

(he let the droid go) Then he picked Rey, and Finn and Poe and carried them like sacks of potatoes into the ship he had come in then flew to a thing called the Ultimate Weapon, which had just destroyed all the chocolate factories in the galaxy, he put them in uncomfortable chairs in separate cells so he could tell them that their friends had told him everything so they might as well confess um, he started with Rey.

But it didn't work, then he went off to Poe's cell,

but while he was away...

"Any way it wasn't me it was him.''

''But you had the idea''

''You put the ice down his back''

so they took him out of the chair (because he was in a chair too). Meanwhile on the green planet they had just left, someone had found the ship and had flown away in it!

To the Ultimate weapon, with lots of explosives (because they wanted to blow it up) um so as Finn, Poe and Rey were escaping they found these other people, with lots of explosives.

They said hello and then goodbye and were about to leave but they saw um Kylo Ren!!

one of the people they had just met, was walking towards him! They were all very surprised to see him because last time they had seen him he had been tied to a chair. (Kylo Ren not the person) Kylo Ren saw the person and walked towards him, and took his helmet off he had a helmet, Renèe forgot to mention.

A black and silver helmet, because he wanted to be just like Darth Vader when he grew up (if that ever happened) only better!

he had a (off) light saber and held it out to the person. Then he turned it on and stuck it through the person,

everyone except Kylo Ren yelled''NOOOOO!!!!'' at once (even the Storm troopers, because they had all seen star wars IV, V, VI and knew that the person was a famous hero named Han Solo)

Kylo Ren noticed Rey, Poe and Finn, and yelled lots of nasty stuff at them including that they were cheats and that Rey should be sent to school to learn proper manners, but they were gone before they could hear the full extent of what he had to say to them.

they ran into a forest

and there was Kylo Ren in front of them.

He must have had a teleporter. As a matter of fact they could just see the teleporter disappearing behind him, (it was shaped like a phone box) he had his lightsaber on! He threw Rey at a tree and what should he do with the other person and threw Poe into the branches of a tree, where he stuck and he was about to do something even nastier to Finn when he (Finn) reached into his pocket and pulled out... a lightsaber! (which he had picked up off the ground in the green place) and turned it on! Kylo Ren said ''Hey that's mine, give it to me!''

and they began to fight, Finn wasn't very good at it so he was soon lying on the ground groaning in pain, so was the lightsaber (the lightsaber wasn't groaning).

Kylo Ren reached for it, he was going to levitate it into his hand but instead it flew right at his face,

did a few circles around his head, and hit him on the nose,

and then flew to Rey!

Then behind them, where the person had just remembered that he had explosives (and how to use them) the whole place where they had just been BLEW UP!!!!

and a whole lot of X wings came out of the clouds, to provide a dramatic background to the fight between Rey and Kylo Ren.

They began their fight,(Fighty fighty fight) at this point Poe probably left for his X-wing while they were fighting Poe regained consciousness and saw the X-wings

see I told you so he started signaling furiously which was rather difficult because as aforesaid he was stuck in a tree. He managed to get up quite a good signal however by setting fire to the tree next to him, but no one took any notice, except Finn who was lying under that particular tree and strongly objected.

Meanwhile the fight was going badly for Kylo Ren, he was having a very bad day; first he had been sent half way across the galaxy to find this droid, then had found these people who had seen the map inside the droid, and had to bring them the other half way across the galaxy to get information out of them which always left him feeling grumpy (and with a lot of useless information) and then this person had resisted him! And then, before he could get information out of any one else, she had tied him to a chair! And then when he finally got free, there was his father, so he killed his father, then everyone yelled ''NOOOO!!!'' at him (even his own followers! The traitors!) then he found that the people who had tied him to a chair were roaming free so he decided to go and teach them a lesson, but then this rebel stormtrooper (the traitor!) had a lightsaber (as if a lightsaber was just some ordinary weapon that anyone could use!) and when he was about to get it back, it was his his rightful property having belonged to his grandfather and his uncle (great-grandfather) Grandfather! But then this little girl stole it! And was now looking like she might beat him! He would have to put a stop to that, um as they came to a ravine um he said to her '' You need a teacher'' (she said ''yes I know you said before'')

'I can teach you'' (even though he wasn't fully trained yet) and together we can overthrow Snoke and rule the galaxy as um um Master and apprentice,'' no he didn't

''I can teach you the ways of the force so you can be better at fighting (but not better than me of course) ''will I be allowed chocolate?'' asked Rey,

Kylo Ren said with a wicked grin ''there is no such thing as chocolate anymore.'' so Rey, not wanting to give up chocolate for the rest of her life, fought on.

''I will never be taught by you!'' and then chopped his light saber in half

and cut his face and then as she was about to dispatch him, a crack opened in front of her feet, because the X wings had managed to blow up the ultimate weapon,

and Rey instead of jumping over the ravine to continue dispatching him instead ran back to where Finn and Poe were (she would later live to regret this). When she reached the place where she had left them, she found a burnt tree and two people lying on the ground,

she told them to stand up. Poe did. Finn didn't. Thinking that perhaps he had not heard her the first time she repeated it a second time rather louder,

he said “Ow!”

Rey said “Oh! You look hurt!” Finn said

“My foot hurts, my leg hurts, my pinky hurts, owchy, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my back hurts, my arm hurts, my little toe hurts, my-”

“Yes I can see that,” said Rey “there appears to be a ship over there, let's steal it” (she was meant to say “ oh you look hurt but we can not help you for we, no I am beautiful girl(s) and we/i are going to get our/my hair cut ) they went to the ship and stole it. It was the Millennium Falcon and had the other person they had met before, he was called Chewbacca. They flew away.

Meanwhile Kylo Ren had caught hypothermia but luckily there was someone close by to give him first aid and fly away from the planet which was going to turn into a star, a very small one.

Um meanwhile the others were flying to a planet where there was this thing called the resistance, um the resistance had a droid, the droid, BB8, with the map (or part of it)

then while they were talking about it um a droid came from the corner “Hello, I am C-3PO human cyborg relations-” no not that one it was blue, and it showed them the rest of the map.

Then Rey was sent to follow the map to find Luke Skywalker, to whom the map led. She came to a planet with lots of water on it.

she went to a bright green island

and started to climb, it was very tall. She came to the top of it, there was someone and his lunch box,

he was dancing a victory dance because he had just finished building stairs to the top of the island, when he saw Rey he stopped and pretended to be looking out to sea,